What do you do when you dont want to be alone anymore but there is no one you want to be with?

Ok so its been a long time since ive written on here.... Time to think of something interesting to write about except drama and minor freak outs. ;)
Good luck to myself.

haha one sentence.. got carried away..

You know like when you spend so long feeling sorry for yourself and then out of the blue you see someone who pours out their soul to you about all these things they have been through and how completelly amazing their testimony is and how they are able to shine and allow God to make grace and beauty and blessings from the things that were once huge burdens and trials for them, then you go home thinking "wow God is amazing, and He truelly does love and value me and really wants the best for me and these things that satan and i tell myself are complete lies and i am so foolish and stupid to believe just because i feel like i deserve it and its easier to keep myself from being vulnerable by believing them, but i am the daughter of the King and i should start see'ing myself as just that, precoiuse in His sight"?

True words are not always beautiful.
Beautiful words are not always true.

Every time he said
"I want more"
"I love you"
"You're not enough"
I'll forgive
But I'll never forget

Every time she said
"You arnt pretty enough"
"You arnt smart enough"
"You arnt thin enough"
I'll forgive
But I'll never forget

Every time i say
"No one wants you"
"You don't captivate"
"they are right"
I'll forgive
But I'll never forget

"Jesus Christ" -Brand New

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And i will die all alone
And when i arrive i wont know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last
More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do i get the gold chariot
Do i float through the ceiling

Do i divide and fall apart
Because my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gate does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But Ive had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and i swear I'll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a psalm
So I'll know its you and that its over so i wont even try
I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And talk dirt at the hating factories
we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside this machine

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us the most. We ask outselve, "who am i to be brilliant, georgeous, tallented, and famous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serv the world. There is nothing enlightning about shrinking so that people wont feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It's not just some of us; it's all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~Maryanne Williamson